Tag Archives: Star Wars

Changes

27 Nov

I’m writing in purple; I’m such a rebel.

Woah, now I’m blue. Didn’t expect that, did you? DID YOU?

There are going to be some changes around TL (Tedious Life’s cool, street name). I’m just going to get right down to it.

1.) I will now use TL when referring to this blog from now on. It is this blog’s street name (as explained above), and we should all respect that.

2.) My street name is Master Jedi DJ Fiddlesticks.

3.) In light of new, confidence boosting events, I will appear more weird (more me) in these posts.

4.) I feel as though I’ve finally found my personal writing voice because (see above).

Onwardeth to more exciting crap…

 I’m going to make TL  look prettier and easier to navigate; I will also blog a bit differently and less frequently because of other writing opportunities I am striving for and I also have no fear of grammar police hence this grammatically incorrect sentence.

The biggest difference will be Friday Flips. I might still write for this blog hop, but less frequently. Twitter and Facebook will not be updated, even though Facebook is already like that.

 Well, that’s it. BYE!

Friday Flips 11/12: You suck, stop singing

11 Nov

What a tiring week. With other writing obligations (you’ll learn about one with week) and my cold, I’ve forgotten to post the post I was going to post this week. This week’s flips might be weird but you can’t blame cold medicine… because I’m scared of cold medicine, BUT I totally pass it off as being BA.

“I need some more cold medicine…”

“Cold medicine? Ha, I’m so BA that I don’t need that crap. I once pulled a shark out of the ocean and ate it.”

But I’m not implying I’m not the most BA person ever, we all know that someone who eats sharks at Red Lobster deserves that title.

Anyways, my first flip goes to the internet. If you haven’t looked at my “About” page, you would not know that getting my own reality show about living in a cardboard box is my future career. (Kinda like Geek Girl vs. Wild) Obviously, the internet doe not think that “Reality Show Star” is a career option, so I cannot get information about average salary and employment opportunities. I really don’t get how that is not a “real” job, but travelling circus clown is. What the F?

I also want to flip off the person who called me… normal. I’m one of the few people who takes joy in being weird. I enjoy being unusual. The staring doesn’t bother me anymore. Normal is an insult, especially since I just temporarily fixed my broken glasses by using colored pencils to replace the broken temples until my doctor’s appointment. That’s normal? Shit. I guess I just finally realized that everyone is weird and normal is weird, which means that by being weird you are normal but in a weird way. These are the things that make me think…

A huge flip off goes to Disney Stars. Why do all Disney Stars have to sing? Do I really have to walk down the music aisle and see all their happy, Disney faces? Their voices also suck, it’s more computer than man. At least Darth Vader’s more-computer-than-man voice is awesome.

They sound like Ke$ha. There, I said it.

(At least Ke$ha WANTS to sound that way.)

 What are you flipping off this week?

Click here to visit Momma Kiss and see what other bloggers joined in on the flipping. 

Friday Flips 11/5: The “Mustache Hate” Edition

4 Nov

Yes, I missed last week’s flips. Simply put, I was tired. I was tired of my birthday, tired of planning, tired of being sad when nobody remembered said birthday, and so freakin’ tired of Halloween… so I celebrated with Cesar Chavez instead.

A small amount of hatred goes to my name. My parents thought it was unique but by 5th grade, I hated it because it was so common and it was too innocent sounding. I go by a nickname, instead of Sara, but some people still call me by my real first name.

A shovel of flips goes out to certain bloggers. The bloggers I am referring to are ones that constantly refer to their writing as “funny” or “sappy” or “snarky”. I’m not hating on blogs that do this on occasion I’m talking about bloggers who do that on every single post. Honestly? Your writing isn’t that funny or snarky when you start off by writing “here is my funny/snarky post on my trip to the pumpkin patch.”

 “Friends” who criticize my spelling and grammar deserve some giant flips this week. Am I writing a research paper? I can write better than this, but this is a BLOG. Wud u rther iF i tyPed lyke dis?????????????? Or iF i tweeted lyke dis…

“Yo, jus got bac from da concert. awsum. my dawg died. hehe.”

That’s right, insult my grammar and the dog dies. *

Mustache haters? You get a big “F” in mustachinessness. As you know from my previous post, I love making mustaches on sticks. I now carry one everywhere I go to show friends or to strike up a conversation with the homeless man who lives by the supermarket. I do not know where this “mustache hate” comes from but it needs to stop. I have a mustache on a stick, so what? I’m not pushing it up to your face or anything… Okay, I did that once but I apologized to her afterwards.

Grow up, it is just a mustache! It’s not like it’s a Boba Fett blaster or anything…

A NOT Flip Off to WordPress for these recommended tags…

they know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

What are you flipping off this week? Also, new username ideas? Anyone?

Click here to visit MommaKiss and the other bloggers who are flipping off today 

*= Just joking, of course. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal and stuff. Also? It’s messy.

RIP, RSVP

20 Oct

Online you can pretend to be anything. A single, young mom of 3 boys who blogs could actually be a married man of 50 with a pet dog. I used to think that I never did that; You know that I am a female Star Wars fan who can’t do math, but here I am writing a post temporarily titled, “I admit it, I am a man.”

It all started when I read a story about a “girl” who lived her entire childhood until she found her true gender. She was a man. I began to panic… Was I a man? That would explain my dislike of make-up AND why I have the urge to pull my pants so low that my boxers blow in the breeze (and I don’t even wear boxers, y’all).

I was going to the doctor’s anyways, so I took the chance. I asked…

Me: Am I a man?

Doctor: You marked female on your forms.

Me: Yes, but am I a man?

Doctor: When we asked you to pee in the cup, did you sit down or stand up?

Me: I was scared of what you would say so I kinda did both, I squatted.

It turned out that there is a book based on the story I read.  The girl knew she was a man before she knew she was a man (if that makes sense…). Doctor told me this, told me I was not a man, and sent me on my way. That’s typical, paranoid me.

Speaking of this, last night I was checking up on my RSVPs. Out of all my family for my family party, only ONE person has RSVP’ed. I used Google to gain valuable insight about why my assclown family chose.

The results that appeared revealed that my Little Idiots might not even know what RSVP is or why that phone number/email combo is even there. I sighed with relief until I saw the comments.

Fallin4YoMomma Said…

I planned a surprise birthday party for my son. Nobody RSVP’ed, and NOBODY came! I cried but I didn’t let my son know. I don’t think his little heart could have handled it.

My little heart can’t handle it either.

People have been emailing/Twitter messaging asking how I’m doing and if I’m dead or not. I’m just coming back to blogging again but I’m not dead. I’ll give you guys a heads up when I am.

This can protect you from flying cobras, or maybe not.

27 Sep

I hate those sales people in malls because they’re so stupid and can’t do their easy job, sell.

“Why should I buy your product today?”

“It makes your hair bouncy.”

Really sales people? I don’t want my hair bouncing around like it has a mind of its own because that would just be creepy.  

You should say that your product protects you from cobras. People are scared of cobras and will buy that shit up. Of course, this could set up some more problems when someone claims that they were bitten by a cobra but they didn’t get the anti-venom because they thought the hair gel was the anti-venom so they just slathered that on the cobra bite and died.

On the other hand, their testimony sounds a little crazy because they would have to be alive to tell their story. Unless they’re a ghost, in which case the cobras would be the least of our worries. Are they a bad ghost like in Ghostbusters or are they an awesome ghost like Obi-Wan Kenobi?

(Obi-Wan Kenobi has a beard which would be awesome on its own but he’s also a ghost. That’s awesome times 10.)

In order to avoid lawsuits, you could just include some tiny text on the bottom of the box that says not proven to 100% protect from venomous, not venomous, elderly, or flying cobras. And you could also include that this product is not anti-venom or an anti-venom substitute. Ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for cobra bites.  If you experience a dying affect lasting more than 4 hours, contact your doctor.

You should also create hairspray that makes your hair fireproof. Everybody knows that fire and cobras come together so if you can protect from both, you’ll be rolling in dinero.

Seriously, sales people, I’m not even in sales I can think this through. You need to hire me.

Random:

Check out this spam comment I received:

click to enlarge

They get bonus points for being Japanese and speaking almost comprehensible English.

Friday Flip Offs 9/17: Man Eating Banthas

17 Sep

 Thursday night is slowing becoming my favorite day of the week.  

Friday Flips is a great time to get rid of my built up anger and now I have an excuse when I’m not working.  

Pac-Man- CHOMP OFF! I’m addicted to Pac-Man, mostly Google Pac-Man and the original. I fell asleep while I was trying to study today and I had a Pac-Man dream. Yes, you read that right.  

Pac-Man is controlling my life. Last Friday, I was with a friend when I asked her, “Do you wanna play Ms. Pac-Man?”  

And we did.  

This is not helping my social life. 

All caps- FLIP OFF! I found an unusual blog last week. Every post, heading, and comment made by the blog’s author was written in all caps, bolded, and italicized.  

Everyone, please take a moment of silence for the poor Caps Lock key that died before that blog was created. Maybe if it was still alive…  

Seriously, what is up with that? How do you get readers when your blog hurts their eyes?  

Crazy Twilight Fans- FLIP OFF! Yeah, I get it, you like Twilight. Don’t look at me like I just punched a sick puppy when I say I hate Twilight. And those ‘friends’ who decided to 

I'm a good artist

distance themselves from me because I didn’t love Twilight in 2008 and want to friends now because they’re over Twilight… get lost. You’re immature and have a poor taste in good literature… and clothes.  

Crazy Twilight Fans who have never watched any Star Wars movies- I’ve read the Twilight books and watched most of the movies. I know the thing I hate like the back of my pale NON-SPARKLY hand. 

Don’t proclaim your Twilight love to the world while and look down on my Star Wars love even though you haven’t seen any of the movies.  

You also have poor taste in Space Operas. Get lost… in the woods… with a man-eating Bantha.  

WordPress.org Procastination- I know I’ve said that I’m switching for about two months now but I’m busy and forgetful. This weekend the switch MUST be done or I won’t allow myself to stay up past bedtime. 

I’m strict but somebody has to be.

Click here to visit Momma Kiss and read the other posts by people flipping today.

The First Tedious Life Giveaway!

12 Sep

Okay, so I have an exciting giveaway for you guys.

Anyone who comments on this post automatically wins this GREAT PRIZE

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Commas, commas for everyone!

I really need to get rid of them so take some commas and throw them around.

Wear them as hat or pin.

Wrap lights around a comma and hang it outside your front door to dissuade robbers and Creepy Uncle Bill from lurking.

Hitch a saddle on one and ride it like a horsie.

I’m serious, take my friggin’ commas. See I just used a comma. It’s an epidemic.

I use commas way too much. I almost used one in a sentence like this:

“I just saw a penguin Chris Brown that polar bear and that walrus.”

So it would be written as:

“I just saw a penguin Chris Brown that polar bear, and that walrus.”

That’s when I realized that I have a problem.

Super Kitty- DISTRACT!

These are my comma solutions:

1.)    Use more of these thingys- :

2.)    Use more dashes even when the sentence doesn’t call for it——————————

3.)    Leave some sentences as fragments. It’s the. Internet. Who’s gunna care?

4.)    Attach a picture of a kitty to distract readers while I use commas.

5.)    StArT tYpInG lIkE tHiS tO dIsTrAcT pEoPlE

So take some commas ‘cause I don’t want them anymore.

Note: Is it okay if I say ‘Chris Brown’ like a verb? I don’t think it’s too soon.

Note #2: I’m sure it’s okay now. Urban Dictionary told me so. I love Urban Dictionary. They taught me the proper and polite definition of the word ‘shank’.

Note #3: Is it bad if Google Reader recommends these websites to me?

I don’t follow any Star Wars websites… do I blog about Star Wars that much?

Take my Star Wars blogging and my commas. Please.

Note #4: Google might also be reading my mind to fill out the Recommended Items section. They’re rich and mind reading does come along with the private jet and English butler. So Google took my dog and now they’re stealing my thoughts. This sucks.

Note #5: I had something else to write here but then I forgot. Bye!