Tag Archives: mustache

Before I go….

22 Dec

I’m not going to post this week because of the season, but I didn’t want to just leave. I also wanted to share the wonder….

I’m sitting in a closet

17 Dec

I’m back from my computer break. It made me feel like this 😀

That last sentence is a lie, I really felt like this 😦

I won’t go into details, but my bag fell in the toilet. Now I have to use a crappy replacement bag while my old bag is being disinfected. And by “old bag”, I really mean my old bag, not my grandma. Although, I did have to pull her out of the toilet when she slipped in one time. Hmmm…. I’m getting too technical.

My mustache on a stick business is branching out. I make mustaches, beards, and now a tear on a stick. Feeling sad? Pull out your tear on a stick! Clever, no?

I was stabbed in the arm with a pencil for the second time in my life. In 2nd grade, I stabbed someone in the eye. Obviously, whats-his-face from second grade is still pissed and trying to get back at me.

I’m also debating whether or not I should come out of closet… about this blog. I’ve been keeping the secret for too long, and I’m going to come out of the real closet anyways (there aren’t any presents in here!).

And that’s it.

So tell me…

What have you been up to for the past two weeks? What do you do for the holidays? Have you ever stabbed anyone in the eye?

For the holidays, I DON’T stab people in the eye. I also collect ornaments.

Friday Flips 11/5: The “Mustache Hate” Edition

4 Nov

Yes, I missed last week’s flips. Simply put, I was tired. I was tired of my birthday, tired of planning, tired of being sad when nobody remembered said birthday, and so freakin’ tired of Halloween… so I celebrated with Cesar Chavez instead.

A small amount of hatred goes to my name. My parents thought it was unique but by 5th grade, I hated it because it was so common and it was too innocent sounding. I go by a nickname, instead of Sara, but some people still call me by my real first name.

A shovel of flips goes out to certain bloggers. The bloggers I am referring to are ones that constantly refer to their writing as “funny” or “sappy” or “snarky”. I’m not hating on blogs that do this on occasion I’m talking about bloggers who do that on every single post. Honestly? Your writing isn’t that funny or snarky when you start off by writing “here is my funny/snarky post on my trip to the pumpkin patch.”

 “Friends” who criticize my spelling and grammar deserve some giant flips this week. Am I writing a research paper? I can write better than this, but this is a BLOG. Wud u rther iF i tyPed lyke dis?????????????? Or iF i tweeted lyke dis…

“Yo, jus got bac from da concert. awsum. my dawg died. hehe.”

That’s right, insult my grammar and the dog dies. *

Mustache haters? You get a big “F” in mustachinessness. As you know from my previous post, I love making mustaches on sticks. I now carry one everywhere I go to show friends or to strike up a conversation with the homeless man who lives by the supermarket. I do not know where this “mustache hate” comes from but it needs to stop. I have a mustache on a stick, so what? I’m not pushing it up to your face or anything… Okay, I did that once but I apologized to her afterwards.

Grow up, it is just a mustache! It’s not like it’s a Boba Fett blaster or anything…

A NOT Flip Off to WordPress for these recommended tags…

they know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

What are you flipping off this week? Also, new username ideas? Anyone?

Click here to visit MommaKiss and the other bloggers who are flipping off today 

*= Just joking, of course. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal and stuff. Also? It’s messy.

Halloween, Elections, Dog, and Mustaches (possibly a ninja too)

3 Nov

 

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October 27th 

This was my birthday. My friends forgot me. When I tried to call them the day after my birthday, they ignored me. They probably went to a Halloween party without me.

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October 31st

It was Halloween and Day of the Dead in America’s pants (Canada is America’s hat so…). Day of the Dead is a day when altars complete with food, flowers, candles, and pictures are set up in remembrance of a dead relative. It is believed that the spirit finds their way to the altar and enjoys the food and celebration. I hate Halloween since it always messes up my birthday (it was the 27th) so I decided to learn more about the Day of the Dead. I decided to make a fake Day of the Dead altar to Cesar Chavez, so I went to Michael’s and bought some candles, a paper mache skull, and some fake flowers. I’m not actually related to Cesar Chavez but I’m a pale Norwegian-American so I didn’t know what to do.

Setting up the Ofrenda (altar) for Cesar Chavez was a fun learning experience. It was actually worth getting the weird looks at Michael’s when I told them I was trying to use my candles, flowers, and skull to meet Cesar Chavez.

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November 1st

I didn’t meet Cesar Chavez. I still had fun learning…

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November 2nd

I picked up the phone…

Me: Hello?

Chain smoking 45 year old woman: Are you a Democrat or Republican?

 

Possible Voter

Me:

I don’t know.

Woman: Do you know that [candidate] will protect your money?

Me: Isn’t he the one who lied about everything?

Woman: Yes, but what he didn’t lie about was his promises to keep your wallet safe. [Other candidate] lied about those.

Me: Well, I’m actually a Canadian.

Woman: Really? Are there any Americans there?

Me: No, I’m from a family of Canadians. Although, my dog was homeless in the Chicago suburbs when he was a puppy.

Woman: …bye.

Animal discrimination? I think so.

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November 3rd

I realized that I had a blog I forgot about. I also realized that I’ve made so many mustaches on sticks that it’s now an addiction.