Friday Flips 10/8: Take that, Martha!

8 Oct

No post this week again besides Flip Offs. Well, it’s my blog you assclown so shut the fudge up. (Excuse that last sentence, I’m trying to stop my swearing habit.)

Martha Stewart- FLIP OFF! I’m trying to make mustaches on sticks with fake fur, instead of felt. They look so real and awesome but you, Martha Stewart, are making it hard for me. I’m not a crafter and I have no idea what half of the crap on the ‘mustache on a stick’ craft list is. I tried watching the video but that only reminded me why I never watch your show.

Mustached ‘Mustache on a stick’ Craft Dude: And then we just wrap that around the wire.

Martha: Like this?

Mustached ‘Mustache on a stick’ Craft Dude: No, let me show you…

Martha: NO! Do you know who I am? I’m Martha FUCKING Stewart!

Mustached ‘Mustache on a stick’ Craft Dude: I’m just trying to help.

Martha: I once pulled a shark out of the ocean and ate it! I’m Martha FUCKING Stewart!

I clicked back to the ‘Items Needed’ list and tried to figure out what craft glue is. What’s wrong with plain old Elmer’s?

UPDATE: Is craft glue that glue that makes you hallucinate/radioactive/die? I think it might be. That’s why I prefer the Next Martha because she won’t attempt to kill you with craft glue.

Glee- FLIP OFF! Everyone is talking about the miracle that is Glee like it’s the miracle of a baby whale being born. (Actually, I’ve seen a whale being born and it was kind of gross.) I want to watch Glee and become a ‘Gleek’ but Tuesday nights aren’t really good for me. Why can’t it come on at like 6?

Two very close words- FLIP OFF! I saw someone drawing a rather large ‘S’ on a piece of paper so I exclaimed, “That’s an S!”

The people around me had shocked looks on their faces so I proudly proclaimed, “Yeah, that’s right, I know my STDs.”

ABCs or STDs, who would notice anyways? Everyone.

This last minute Friday Flips post and others are still being hosted over at MommaKiss.

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8 Responses to “Friday Flips 10/8: Take that, Martha!”

  1. MommaKiss October 8, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    Um. I think your attempt at not swearing went out the window. Fuckin right!
    MarthaFuckingStewart. Screw here.
    Hey – my birthday is at the end of the month! 29th. you?

    • Sara @ Tedious Life October 8, 2010 at 8:13 pm #

      I didn’t say it, Martha Stewart did!

      Mine is the 27th.

      Do you hate having your birthday so close to Halloween? I do.

  2. Elle October 10, 2010 at 11:58 am #

    ha ha ha Sara. You crack me up! I gotta use that line next time about the ABC’s and STD’s.

  3. Alexandra October 12, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

    umm, I , too, prefer the Next Martha: she is still crafty. but a “cool crafty”

  4. Missygalfun October 12, 2010 at 9:03 pm #

    Mustache? Me likey.

  5. liz October 13, 2010 at 8:09 pm #

    You did NOT switch up ABCs for STDs?!?! HAHAHA!

  6. Maria Howard December 1, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

    i am a certified Gleek and i really love the TV Show GLEE. Diana is very pretty *,,

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