Friday Flip Offs 10/1: The OH CRAP I FORGOT Edition

1 Oct

OH CRAP, I FORGOT. You know how it goes. Friday Flips… I rant about crap I hated during the week… I talk about my magical manatee.

The total B Word (and by B Word, I mean Baby): B Word, you are a real B Word (and by real B Word, I mean bitch). It may shock you, but I know I’m very thin and lanky. Randoming grabbing my skinny wrist, looking it over, and exclaiming “Shit!” to you friend is…

A.) Rude

B.) An invasion of privacy

C.) SUPER rude, I was talking to a friend and I don’t even know you. Who are you?

And it was really awesome when you just held it closer to your face for a few moments like it was some sort of display at a freak show before I had to pull it away. Were you trying to hold my hand? Are we dating now? Asking someone out is so different in big cities…

You picked the wrong time to be rude to me because the new(ish) friend I was with didn’t like it either and REALLY told you off before I could even get a word in.

Obviously, she didn’t know we were a couple.

[MESSAGE FOR THE B WORD ONLY: Listen, I wanna break up. I’ve never been into you, EVER! I don’t wanna be friends either.]

Writers who use bathroom walls as their canvas: I don’t want to read about your bad breakup while I’m sitting on the John. I’m sure you loved him and whatever but come on, maybe if you stopped writing your life story on the wall, you could actually leave the Crapper Stall and find yourself another man.

And those idiots who write down who they ‘heart’ on the wall, I’m sure your ‘BF’ cherishes the fact that your show your love with a purple pen on a crap smeared wall.

People who say, “you know what you did”: I don’t know what I did. This week, I’ve lit two things on fire, pushed one person over and accidently punched them, and I told one person that I hated babies and puppies. What incident are you referring too?

Random Fact of the Week: I can draw a half human/half manatee with a unicorn horn really well. I’ve done it.

Click here to visit Momma Kiss and the other people who are flipping off today.


6 Responses to “Friday Flip Offs 10/1: The OH CRAP I FORGOT Edition”

  1. Missygalfun October 2, 2010 at 5:42 pm #

    What a bword

  2. Kim October 3, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

    This is great!!

  3. Stef October 4, 2010 at 9:24 pm #

    I hate seeing writing on the bathroom stall wall… it’s like… do your business and get out so the next person can do hers!

    Mall sales ladies that don’t take “no” for the reply to, “Can I show you how to curl your hair?” DUH! I *know* how my hair looks… leave me alone so I can spend money somewhere else!

    Thanks for validating I’m not nuts!
    P.S. Hopefully I don’t make your “Friday Flip-Off” this week… You have received a “Versatile Blogger Award”. Check it out here:

    • Sara @ Tedious Life October 5, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

      Thanks Stef, clicking over now to give you a proper thanks!

      I really hate those ‘aroma therapy’ mall people who shove the smelly rags in my face. I have allergies, you asshats.

  4. MommaKiss October 4, 2010 at 9:27 pm #

    oh my gawd, “This week, I’ve lit two things on fire, pushed one person over and accidently punched them, and I told one person that I hated babies and puppies. What incident are you referring too?”

    Snort out loud. Better late than never, I say. Not to mention I haven’t been to blogs in days. Vaca will do that to ya 😉

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