Twilight and Pandas and The Hills! oh, my!

19 Feb

A few years ago, I met a really nice girl. We quickly became friends, and I was really happy with my new friendship. I soon learned that she was a stereotypical dumb blonde and it didn’t help that she was in fact blonde. She used really cool words like “OMG”, “ZOMG”, “LOL”, and “BTW” when talking. It angered me, but I was also interested on what went on in her head. I kept the friendship going.

Over the next few months I noted how she talked to people because how the other person reacted was very odd. Average people would try to nicely tell her she was an idiot and idiots like her always agreed with whatever she was saying.
Why Stick Figures? I figured a dumb blonde looks best as a stick figure.

She tried to seem really smart after she saw me reading all the time. She decided to check out a new book on the library shelf- Twilight. She became crazy over twilight and fell in love with Edward Cullen. (Please note- she was also in love with Harry Potter, so she loved fictional characters.) Even though I hated twilight and she kept talking about it,  I stayed friends with her… for a year.

The next year came around and my dumb friend was talking about Twilight, pandas, and her favorite episodes of The Hills. (I’m not even joking.) The rage inside me was built up so much that I was ready to explode (Luckily, I only farted).

The last few days of spring came and my friends and I were listening to her talk about Twilight, pandas, and The Hills. Around the second hour of her nonstop talking we were wondering how much longer she would go on for. 

Why stick figures? I figured a dumb blonde would look better as a stick figure

I felt the anger boiling up in me. I decided to break her off before I exploded and continue the conversation in a direction my friends would enjoy. I asked them, “Did you guys watch the episode of Happy Days they had on the other day?”

The room fell silent for a few moments before the dumb blonde asked, “What’s Happy Days?”

 I took a deep breath and calmly replied:

 Oddly, she didn’t want to be friends anymore.

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